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Arizona’s Gov. Brewer Announces Adopt-a-Gun Program

A Public Disservice Announcement: Somewhere in Phoenix, Arizona a lonely AK-47 awaits its execution. Feeling alone and unwanted, covered in dust and grime it gazes out into a future that it knows it...

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President Obama Forgets How to Spell ‘Respect’ After Five Long Years of Never...

Sadly, President Obama just can’t get any ‘rspect’. After a particularly yummy Taco Tuesday, this past Thursday the White House decided to host the Women of Soul. Attended by a myriad of outstanding...

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Tea Party Mistakenly Protests Arizona Thespian Center: “Thespians are against...

An innocent celebration turned chaotic Thursday as Tea Party demonstrators descended on Tucson, Arizona to protest the newly built Arizona Thespian Center. Led by Minnesota Senator Michele Bachmann,...

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Republican Environmental Caucus Concedes Major Climate Issue: Rain is not in...

The preponderance of scientific evidence has finally forced the conservative environmental caucus to concede one of the most divisive climate issues facing our nation. Conservative leaders now freely...

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Walmart Lowers Minimum Wage to $1 after Hobby Lobby Victory

Commencing immediately, Walmart is lowering the minimum wage of their 2.2 million employees to $1 per hour and permanently ending all health and retirement benefits. The CEO of Walmart, C. Douglas...

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The Walking Red: The Truth about Florida’s “Zombie” Cover-up

  Over the past two years, Florida has been the scene of a series of violent and unusual attacks. These incidents have led to nationwide speculation as to the presence of zombies in the Sunshine State....

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Sarah Palin Knocks Self Unconscious Taking Ice Bucket Challenge

Earlier today, Sarah Palin knocked herself unconscious while participating in the Ice Bucket Challenge. Sponsored by the ALS Association, the Ice Bucket Challenge has participants film themselves...

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Susan B. Anthony on New $20 bill, Valued at only $15.40?

Earlier today, President Obama announced that he will sign an executive order removing President Andrew Jackson from the $20 bill and replace him with women’s rights advocate Susan B. Anthony. The idea...

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Hillary Clinton: ‘It’s Time to Break the Ass Ceiling’

No one can say that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton minces words.

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Trump Vows to Send Statue of Liberty Back to France

“Just don’t worry about it….We have to be tough, it’s time we’re going to be a little bit tough, folks. I am going to build a new Statue of Liberty. It’s going to be bigger. So big. So big they can see...

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